Extracts

King:

If I've told you once I've told you twice.

Queen:

But you haven't told me once dear.

King:

I haven't?

Queen:

No. Not even once.

King:

Oh. But the point is if I had've told you once, the chances are I would've told you again. You know I'm right, I'm the King.

Queen:

Well let me know the first time you tell me and I'll be sure to watch out for the second.

King:

Will do. Just remind me, what was it I was telling you?

Queen:

Well I don't know dear?

King:

Then you should listen more carefully when I tell you the first time.

Queen:

Yes of course, dear.

King:

Because I won't tell you again.

Queen:

But I thought that you said if you told me once, you were going to tell me again.

King:

Well, I withdraw that remark.

Queen:

How many times?

King:

(Slightly confused) Twice? Oh. Brenda, there you are. Do you have the baby?

Brenda:

Chester… Chester. Stop rushing ahead! I might be wrong but it looked like you were confusing everyone.

Chester:

Me, of course not! I was just explaining where we are.

Brenda:

And when? I don't know about you but I thought the future would be all robots and meals in tablet form. But it just looks the same. Except for that fella down there, (points) he was awake the last time I saw him.

Chester:

Is the Prince with you, he needs to slash, slash, slash (Mimes) these thorns?

Brenda:

Then mwah, mwah, mwah, with the princess… (they both act out kissing)

Chest/Bren:

And then we can all go back to normal!

…

(Breezy enters)

Breezy:

Were you two kissing?

Chester:

Of course not! What a revolting thought.

Brenda:

Chester! I'll have you know I'm like a fine wine!

Breezy:

You mean you started out fresh and fruity.

Brenda:

Yes.

Chester:

Intoxicating to the mind?

Brenda:

Indeed.

Breezy:

And now you've aged you're full bodied!

Brenda:

Eh, what?

Chester:

And have turned all soury and vinegary and give us a headache.

Brenda:

Now look here you. I'll give you a headache…

Breezy:

Hey, hey! No arguing! We are supposed to be guiding the prince.

Chester:

He seems to have guided himself somewhere else!

Breezy:

It's alright, (Lifts wand) I'll get him here.

Brenda:

Are you going to cast a spell?

Breezy:

Ermmm, no… hold this would you? (Gives Brenda wand and cups hands to mouth) OI BROOKLYN, WE'RE OVER HERE!

Prince:

(Enters) Alright don't shout!

Brenda:

Yes, look you've woken him up. (Points to same man in audience)

Prince:

Aurora. I met you just today, although it was one hundred years ago. But how ever long it has been, I know that we are meant for each other and now I wake you with this true love's kiss.

…

(He bends to kiss her and we have a magical effect as Aurora wakes. Duet music begins)

Aurora:

My Prince. I knew you would come for me!

Prince:

Always, Aurora.

…

(Start Reprise of Duet. Which gets interrupted by a flash bang as the lights change and Spud and Carabosse enter. Every one wakes up by this point.)

Cara:

Enough of this odious scene! My plans have been interfered with one too many times.

Spud:

That's twice!

Cara:

At least.

Spud:

No, twice exactly.

Cara:

It doesn't matter Spud. The point is that this lot are all for it now! And that includes you all smugly sitting there. I bet you thought this was the end!

King:

Am I still dreaming? It all seems a bit of a nightmare to me.

Queen:

Leonard, Aurora is awake, it's a good thing.

King:

Yes, that Brooklyn chap came good after all.

Cara:

So he did. But I hope you are not expecting a happy ending.

Aurora:

You tricked me once before, you won't do it again. My eyes are open.

Chester:

She's making puns now. I'll be out of a job.

Cara:

Quiet, you clown.

Chester:

Jester actually.

Cara:

What's the difference?

Chester:

The hat, amongst other things.

Cara:

What's the difference between a dead jester and a dead clown?

Brenda:

I don't know what is the difference between a dead jester and a dead clown?

Cara:

Absolutely nothing.

King:

Is that one of yours Chester? The punch line just isn't that funny. After 100 years I thought these performances might be getting a little better.

…

(Aurora squares up to Carabosse)

Aurora:

No-one threatens my jester… why don't you just leave!

Prince:

Careful Aurora.