Extracts

Shui:

Well done constable. Now read out the notice of public law and order. (Handing him note)

Feng:

"Dear Sergeant saucy, I had a wonderful time last night and can't wait until we meet again. That feather boa you wore…"

Shui:

Not that notice, not that notice!! This one: This is the one I wrote. (Hands over another note)

Feng:

"To whom it may concern,"

Shui:

That's everyone.

Feng:

"Be aware, that today the royal family…" Is it today?

Shui:

That's what it says.

Feng:

When was it written?

Shui:

Yesterday.

Feng:

So everyone should be aware that yesterday the royal family…

Shui:

Today!

Feng:

But you wrote it yesterday.

Shui:

But when I wrote it I was thinking of the next day.

Feng:

Right, "Everyone should be aware that tomorrow the…"

Shui:

Today!

Feng:

"Everyone should be aware today…"

Shui:

Yes.

Feng:

"That tomorrow the royal family will…"

Shui:

Hold it! Look, when I wrote the note yesterday it was in preparation for today so that when it was read out, today, everyone would know that it wasn't about yesterday or tomorrow but today.

Feng:

"To whom it may concern"

Shui:

Everyone.

Feng:

"Be aware that when Sergeant Shui wrote this note yesterday it was in preparation for today so that when I read it out today," that's what I'm doing now, "those whom it concerned…"

Shui:

Everyone.

Feng:

"Would know that it's not about yesterday or tomorrow but today."

Shui:

That's better.

Feng:

Brilliant.

Shui:

So consider yourself warned! No laying eyes on the princess on pain of death! Right we'd better be off.

Feng:

Princess, what princess?

Twankee:

I've told you no Wishee!

Wishee:

But Mum, I only want a couple of days off.

Twankee:

What for?

Wishee:

I want to visit a big amusement park.

Twankee:

Look, when you were little you went on and on at me about going to a theme park, and when it finally happened, you still complained.

Wishee:

Yes but Mum, you were supposed to take us with you!

Twankee:

I've always taken you on holiday haven't I? Next year I'm going to take you to Switzerland.

Aladdin:

Why Switzerland, what's good there?

Twankee:

I'm not sure, but its flag is a big plus.

Jasmine:

You see, So Shy, it's funny to watch them!

Shy:

These don't seem to be normal people, Princess.

Jasmine:

That one is (points to Aladdin). I want to talk to him. So Shy, get rid of the other two for me!

Shy:

How?

Jasmine:

I don't know think of something (pushes her forward).

Shy:

(To Twankee et al) Excuse me? Do you know where the market is?

Aladdin:

Food?

Wishee:

Clothes?

Twankee:

Or stock?

Shy:

Any?

All 3:

That way. (They point in different directions)

Shy:

Do you think you could lead me there?

All 3:

Certainly. (They all walk off in different directions)

Jasmine:

No, So Shy!

Shy:

Wait, come back! (They all march back) Do you know where I can see some sport?

Aladdin:

Team?

Wishee:

Motor?

Twankee:

Or blood?

Twankee:

Well this is ridiculous. Uncle indeed, I've never heard of such a thing, getting my boy Aladdin into trouble with the Emperor. Sounds like a scoundrel. I'm going to throw him out on his ear this instant!

…

(Wishee, Abanazar and Aladdin enter)

Wishee:

Mum, our uncle says he can make us rich!

Twankee:

Ohh. Have a seat dear brother; I can't believe you're here. Would you like some tea? Wishee, fetch some cake!

Aba:

Why thank you dear relation. But I fear there is very little time.

Twankee:

Very little time for what?

Aladdin:

We have an urgent quest mother. A quest to reach the cave of wonders!

Twankee:

The cave of wonders eh? What's in it?

Aba:

Jewels beyond imagination, Gold to dazzle the senses and a…(breaks off)

Twankee:

And a what?

Aba:

Nothing else, what else could you need?

Twankee:

I can think of plenty. But why have you come to us dear….what was your name again?

Aba:

Abanazar!

Wishee:

A what?

Aba:

Banazar.

Wishee:

Banana?

Aladdin:

No Wishee not a banana, Banazar!

Wishee:

What's a banazar?

Aba:

Me, I'm 'A banazar!'

Wishee:

Well rather you than me, sounds painful.

Aba:

Abanazar, Abanazar.

Twankee:

That's two banazars, one more and you'll have a bunch.

Wishee:

A bunch of banazars, Mum?

Twankee:

No thank you, I'm not hungry.